Phonograph - An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.

Ambrose Bierce


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Philosophy - A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Ambrose Bierce


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Alliance - In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

Ambrose Bierce


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Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.

Ambrose Bierce


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Riot – A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

Ambrose Bierce


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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: gambling



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History – An account mostly false, of events unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: history



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Lawyer – One skilled in the circumvention of the law.

Ambrose Bierce


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Litigation – A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Ambrose Bierce


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DOG: A kind of additional or subsidiary Diety designed to catch the overflow or surplus of the world's worship.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: dogs



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