If anything is more irresistible than Jesus, it's Mickey.

Carl Hiaasen


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Please don't grow up to be one of those men who lie for the sport of it, and most men do. That's a fact. That's why the world is so messed up, Noah. That's why history books are full of so much heartache, and tragedy. Politicians, dictators, kings, phoney-baloney preachers-most of 'em are men, and most of 'em lie like rugs

Carl Hiaasen

Tag: men liar lie



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My father's a large man, very strong, but he says fighting is for people who can't win with their brains. He also says there are times when you've got no choice but to defend yourself from common morons.

Carl Hiaasen

Tag: fight morons



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Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence.

Carl Hiaasen

Tag: silence quiet sunset peaceful



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That's what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death.

Carl Hiaasen

Tag: wildlife wild trample



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Nobody said he was Alvin Einstein.

Carl Hiaasen


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Miami ... the floating-human-body-parts capital of America.

Carl Hiaasen


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