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I'm going to go hunt some zombie," he said. It would have sounded pretty cool if his voice hadn't cracked in the middle of the sentence.

Carrie Harris

That puke was the most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. It was green and a little red. Technicolor, really, the color puke is supposed to be. It definitely wasn't black, and it didn't smell like toasty poop. This was a good sign.

Carrie Harris

Tag: color zombies puke

Excuse me if I feel skeptical,' I said. 'Coach's foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?

Carrie Harris

Tag: sarcasm zombies

Are these Romero slow zombies, or 28 Days Later fast zombies?”
“They were totally slow, dude. Are you blind?

Carrie Harris

Everyone in the room stared at me like they expected me to grow fangs and sparkle.

Carrie Harris

Tag: twilight-pun

I wanted to beat the heck out of the JV guys for that, except I wouldn't know what to do in a fistfight without a manual.

Carrie Harris

Tag: funny fighting nerd football manual

What kind of emergency?”
“Uh …”
“Gynecology or acupuncture?”
What the heck would an acupuncture-related emergency be like?

Carrie Harris

I stumbled into a clearing. In the springtime, it was probably the kind of place you’d like to hang out with sparkly vampires. But it was slightly less attractive in the rain.

Carrie Harris

Jonah squealed, jumping up and down and shaking his pom-poms. His skirt swished around his scrawny yellow knees.
“Jonah, can I give you a piece of sisterly advice?”
“Yeah.”
“If you ever want to lose your virginity, don’t do that again. Ever.

Carrie Harris

Tag: humor