Something simple-minded and morally vacuous? A hamster, perhaps? Maybe Veronica?"
"Excuse me!" Veronica griped form the back table.
"Those are gerbils, Mr. Charbonnet, not hamsters. And I'd thank you to minimise the insulting commentary."
"My apologies, sir." Alec nodded. "The gerbil is a noble beast. I shouldn't have compared it to Veronica.
She takes after her father."
"Uh, I guess," I said, unsure how to respond. Bud's reputation was too far down the toilet for it to be a compliment.
Dizziness?"
"No."
"Nausea? Vomiting? Diarrhea?"
"No, no, and yuck," I said. "Dr. G, can I please be excused?"
"Not yet. How many fingers am I holding up?"
"Eleven."
"Amelie."
I scowled. (...) "Sir, I'm fine. Just let me go to class. Please?"
Gunderman unhooked the blood pressure cuff from my arm and looked at me like I'd asked to borrow his credit card. "Young the lady, the fact you want to go to class gives me definite cause for concern.
Quit that." Lisa jabbed an elbow at my ribs.
"Quit what?"
"Quit looking at him like that," she warned in a hushed tone. "I'm not kidding, Amelie. He's dangerous. He boils kittens in ritual sacrifice."
Katie wrinkled her nose. "He does not, Lisa."
"You don't know that.
You're not being fair," I said.
"Life isn't fair."
"Yeah, and no man is an island. Any other cliches you'd like to share?
I thought you called dibs on him."
"I did, but you can have him first. After he dumps you, imagine how good I'll look in comparison."
"Thanks, that's not insulting at all.
Good grief," Alec muttered.
"Be afraid," Katie quoted. "Be very afraid."
Alec squinted at her. "That sounds familiar. Revelations?"
"David Cronenberg. It's a long, scary story."
"I like scary stories.
Caring about him was like trying to love a tree stump - a cold, mean-spirited paternalistic tree stump. With fungus.
Cecily WhiteDeath is a lot like prom - loud, overdone, and although the guy you came with was cool, you never know who'll end up taking you home.
Cecily WhiteDaddy, I'll be fine. Smalley says some people are late bloomers, that's all."
Actually, what she'd said was, 'Tis a marvellous bud that opens its petals at midnight - not so eager as the weeds of daybreak.
I figured that translated to, Just because you're not a slut like Veronica, doesn't mean you'll end up alone.
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