My bodyguard was mowing the lawn in a pink bikini when the body fell from the sky.

Charlaine Harris


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It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal.

Charlaine Harris

Tag: humor relationships dating vampire



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There was enough tension in the room to send a fleet of the nervous running for their tranquilizers.

Charlaine Harris

Tag: humor sookie-stackhouse



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Some might think you suicidal."
"Well, 'some' can stick it up their ass.

Charlaine Harris

Tag: defiance sookie-stackhouse eric-northman true-blood



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I could tell Hugo was convinced that he would get to walk back up these stairs: after all, he was a civilized person. These were all civilized people.

Hugo really couldn't imagine that anything irreparable could happen to him, because he was a middle-class white American with a college education, as were all the people on the stairs with us.

I had no such conviction. I was not a wholly civilized person.

Charlaine Harris


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My bullshit meter is reading that as 'false'.

Charlaine Harris

Tag: truth bullshit



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Finally, a human man saw me as intensely valuable. Just my luck he was happily married and thought I was a freak.

Charlaine Harris


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I dipped into his brain. He wasn't happy that I wasn't wearing a bra, because my boobs distracted him. He was thinking I was a bit too curvy for his taste. He was thinking he'd better not think about me that way anymore. He was missing his wife.

Charlaine Harris


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I'M SCARED I'LL SHOOT MY NEIGHBOR BY ACCIDENT IF I SEE HIM TROTTING DOWN THE ROAD, SAID A FARMER IN KANSAS, WHAT IF HE GETS AFTER MY CHICKENS?

Charlaine Harris


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I kicked off my sandals, put my ice-tinkling glass on the small table by my current book.

Charlaine Harris


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