How can I play baseball when I'm worried about foreign policy?

Charles M. Schulz


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Charlie Brown says that we're put here on earth to make others happy."
"Is that why we're here? I guess I'd better start doing a better job... I'd hate to be shipped back!

Charles M. Schulz


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I've come to you because I need professional help... I get depressed when I realize how other girls hate me, and yet I know it's only jealousy... It's plain jealousy! They only hate me because I have naturally curly hair... They're jealous of me... What should I do?"
"Don't kid yourself, sister... Five cents, please!

Charles M. Schulz


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Nobody gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Nobody! What sort of presents do you call these? New shoes, a green sweater and a bunch of stupid toys!"
"What were you expecting?"
"Real estate!

Charles M. Schulz


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All of earth's creatures have, hidden within their beings, a wild uncontrollable urge to punt!

Charles M. Schulz


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Nobody likes me!"
"I wish I could like you, Charlie Brown, but I can't... If I were to like you, it would be admitting that I was lowering my standards! You wouldn't want me to do that, would you? Be reasonable! I have standards that I have set up for liking people, and you just don't meet those standards! It wouldn't be reasonable for me to like you!"
"I hate myself for being so unreasonable!

Charles M. Schulz


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Don't sit there watching TV without your glasses! Do you want to ruin your eyes?!"
"My opthalmologist says that not wearing glasses cannot hurt the eyes even if those glasses are badly needed for adequate vision."
"What does your opthalmologist think of the foreign situation?

Charles M. Schulz


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The worst part of it is you don't know if he's barking at an owl, the moon or a burglar!"
"That's one of the drawbacks of a limited vocabulary!

Charles M. Schulz


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Sucking your thumb without a blanket is like eating a cone without ice cream!

Charles M. Schulz


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For one brief moment victory was within our grasp!"
"And then the game started!

Charles M. Schulz


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