Observing someone without context amplifies the experience. The more we know, the less we are able to feel.
Chuck KlostermanThe message of "The Winner Takes It All" is straightforward: It argues that the concept of relationships ending on mutual terms is an emotional fallacy. One person is inevitably okay and the other is inevitably devastated.
Chuck KlostermanIf you stare long enough at anything, you will start to find similarities. The word “coincidence” exists in order to stop people from seeing meaning where none exists.
Chuck KlostermanThe only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist the Internet is wonderful are those who need it to give their life meaning.
Chuck KlostermanEvery time I learn the truth about something, I’m disappointed
Chuck KlostermanThis is what being alive feels like, you know? The place doesn't matter. You just live.
Chuck KlostermanBeing a sexual icon is sort of like being the front man for an Orange County punk band: As soon as you can explain why you're necessary, you're over.
Chuck KlostermanYou meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far you can tell, nothing is different. But - somehow - this person is suddenly more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though - you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front. How much cash do you give the wizard?
Chuck KlostermanHumanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If cavemen had known how to laugh, history would have been different.
Chuck Klosterman...I've spent the last fifteen years of my life railing against the game of soccer, an exercise that has been lauded as "the sport of the future" since 1977. Thankfully, that future dystopia has never come.
Chuck KlostermanTag: humor future dystopia sports soccer
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