You’ve seen me at my worst. Maybe you should see me at my best.”
My words hang between us, heavy and charged, and I don’t know what the fuck I am doing.
“When are you at your best?” she asks hesitantly. And I can see from the determined look on her face that she is trying hard not to feel intimidated. I’m impressed. She’s like a kitten standing up to a lion.
“In bed.
She’s like a breath of fresh air.
I may be the Big Bad Wolf, but even wolves need to breathe.
Sometimes, at the least opportune times, the past is an insomniac, alive and well.
Courtney ColeI can’t let you break my heart. I don’t have much of it left.
Courtney ColeIf you constantly expect the worst from someone, that’s probably what you’re going to get.
Courtney ColeIt was never an option. Love never fails, Mila. And I'll never fail you again. That's a promise.
Courtney ColeThings are the way they are, but everything has a reason. Kittens are cute because they're tiny fur-balls with smushed faces. Rainbows are pretty because they have every color in the world in them and they're made from refracted light. Chick flicks are sad because chicks sometimes just need a good cry. And assholes are always assholes for a reason.
Courtney ColeLove never fails, Mila. That's what your parents believed. And because of you, it's what I believe now, too. You stuck by me and loved me when I didn't deserve it. All I want is a chance to prove that I can be worthy of it. Your parents were sort of fucked up in their own way, like me, and they never got the help that they needed. But I will. I promise. I will put the work in. I will learn how to cope with painful things and I will never leave you again. Just tell me that you'll stay with me.
Courtney ColeI love you, too, Pax. I hope you know that.
Courtney ColePlease," I tell her. "Please forgive me. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I'm so sorry that I've been an asshole and that I shut you out. I didn't know how to handle things without being self-destructive. Self-destruction is all I've ever known. Deep down, it's what I felt like I deserved.
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