As the station wagon pulled back onto the highway, the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon like a leaky boat. Well, except for that fact that boats are not generally round, orange and on fire. Hmm. Come to think of it, in no way whatsoever did the sun, in this instance, resemble a leaky boat. My apologies. That was a dreadful attempt at simile. Please allow me to try again.
As the station wagon pulled back onto the highway, the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon like a self-luminous, gaseous sphere comprised mainly of of hydrogen and helium.
Tag: simile sun funny dusk sunset boat sink
Well, well, well," said Aitch Dee, his arms folded across his chest.
"Well, well, well, well," replied Pavel, not to be out welled.
Tag: funny
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him participate in synchronized diving.
Cuthbert SoupTag: water funny horses diving
You see, unlike most writers today, I do not use a computer. I write the old-fashioned way: on the walls of caves.
Cuthbert SoupTag: funny writer computer author old-fashioned caves
I should mention, by the way, that LVR stands for Luminal Velocity Regulator. I suppose it could also stand for Large Venezeulan Rats, but in this case it does not.
Cuthbert SoupAdvice to explorers everywhere: if you would like to recieve due credit for your discoveries, keep a detailed account of your journeys as Columbus did. On Septemeber 28, 1492, after four weeks at sea, he writes: Dear diary...I means journal. Yes, dear journal. That's what I meant to say. Whew. Anyway, we have yet to discover America, and the crew has become increasingly rebellious. I have decided to turn back if we have not spotted it by Columbus Day. Will write again later if not killed by crew. P.S. Last night's buffet was fabulous, the ice sculptures magnificent.
Cuthbert SoupTag: america funny diary journal columbus explorers columbus-day discovering ice-sculptures
Captain Jibby looked at the door, clenched his teeth, and worked his face into a scowl so fierce you would think the door had insulted his mother - which, for the record, it had not.
Cuthbert SoupOn the forest floor was the LVR's smoldering ceiling panel, just lying there like the lid of a sardine can that had been eagerly and violently thrown away by someone who very much liked sardines.
Cuthbert SoupThe great William Shakespeare said, "What's in a name?" He also said, "Call me Billy one more time and I will stab you with this ink quill.
Cuthbert SoupTag: funny william-shakespeare name quill
These reports that are not explained by natural phenomena or exploding outhouses are known as UFO's, which is the official abbreviation for Unidentified Flying Objects. I suppose it could also stand for Uncommonly Fat Orangutans, but in this case it does not.
Cuthbert SoupTag: ufo acronyms abbreviations orangutans
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