You were the one who hit me on the roof?
I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.

Darynda Jones


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I gotta tell you, Davidson, I’m impressed,” he said. “That took balls.”
“Please,” I said with a snort, “that took ovaries. Of which I have two.”
“Have I mentioned that I’m a licensed gynecologist? If your ovaries ever need anything…

Darynda Jones


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You introduced me to Danger and Will Robinson, but you neglected to acquaint me with the other two.”
“Fine,But you can’t make fun of their names. They’re very sensitive.”
“I would never.”
I pointed in the general vicinity of my left ovary, “This is Beam Me Up.” Then to my right. “And this is Scotty.

Darynda Jones


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I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt

Darynda Jones

Tag: self grave demons



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...and then she glared at me, the same glare my stepmother used to give me when I gave her the Nazi salute. That woman was so touchy about her resemblance to Hitler.

Darynda Jones


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Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.

Darynda Jones


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SOME GIRLS WEAR PRADA. SOME GIRLS WEAR GLOCK 17 SHORT RECOIL SPRING-LOADED SEMIAUTOMATIC PISTOLS WITH A LOADED CHAMBER INDICATOR AND A NONSLIP GRIP. - T-SHIRT

Darynda Jones


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Where you just possessed?" Cookie asked after a long moment, awe softening her voice. "'Cause let me tell you, sweetheart, if that was possession, I'm selling my soul.

Darynda Jones

Tag: cookie charley



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He took a long draw then asked, “What’d I do?”
“You knew about the guy threatening my dad?”
He paused, shifted in his chair, so freaking busted, it wasn’t funny. “They told you?”
“Why, no, Swopes, they didn’t. Instead, they waited until the guy knocked the fuck out of my dad and readied him for spaceflight with duct tape then tried to kill me with a butcher’s knife.

Darynda Jones

Tag: dark-humor



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His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.

Darynda Jones

Tag: humor romance-novels



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