His chest was hard and tempting, with the scars from his move to save her carved forever on his skin.
Debra AnastasiaMay I escort you inside, Mrs. Hartt?”
Livia bit her lower lip and nodded.
Blake scooped her up.
To be carried was such a basic thing. And yet it felt…Primal? Almost. Religious? Maybe.
She focused on his deep, even breaths as he maneuvered through the doorway. Livia laughed a little at herself. She was grateful for the simple act of Blake’s breathing.
He paused until she locked eyes with him. “Count, Livia. Count out loud when you come for me.”
“Two, oh, three, God, oh, God.”
“Screw the biting. Just please, just more,” she begged.
“Biting is next,” he said.
By the time he was nibbling circles, she was counting again. “Four—your hands, use your hands.”
“Five…six…seven. I’m never going to stop…” She was almost panicked in her frenzy.
You can have that life,” he told her. “It’s right there for you to take.”
“I love you,” Eve quickly countered.
“Loving me hurts you, doesn’t it?” Beckett asked, looking down. “No, you don’t have to tell me. I know. I can smell it. I can smell the pain coming off of you,” he said, looking at the floor. “You had love before and a future. What does loving me get you, Eve? What does it get you?” He stood, angry with himself.
“I don’t need to get anything from you. It’s the way it is. There’s no changing that.” She gripped the porch railing.
Beckett stepped close to Eve and tenderly tucked a lock of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear.
“You’re saying goodbye,” she said, her eyes full of questions.
“Do you know there are other little girls out there like that one? I lived with a few of them. They would sell their souls for a mother like you.”
At the word mother Eve’s chin crumpled. She tried to hold back the tears, but they wouldn’t obey.
“See that? It’s what you need. You need that—a little kid calling you Mom.” Beckett put his arms around her as she shattered.
The pain she kept hidden surfaced from where it had been smoldering. When he felt her knees weaken, he hugged her harder.
“That’s right. It’s okay. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, baby. You want normal.” He guided her to the chair he’d vacated. “There’s a guy out there who’ll hold your hand. There’s a little girl out there. She’s waiting for you. It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay.” He knelt in front of her and rubbed her arms.
She slapped at his hands, letting outrage carry her words. “I don’t want another man. I want you. I’ve killed for you. I’ve protected you. What the hell do you think you’re doing? Do you honestly think these hands that kill can hold a child?” She held her fingers in front of her face.
“Yes. Absolutely. Don’t you know, gorgeous? Mothers are some of the most vicious killers out there, if their kids are threatened. You just have more practice.” He took her hands and kissed them.
“I’ve lost too much. I can’t lose you. Don’t make me. Please. I’ll beg you if I have to.” She watched his lips on her palms.
He shook his head and used her own words against her. “The hardest part of loving someone is not being with them when you want to be.”
He stood, and she mirrored his motion,already shaking her head. “Don’t say it.”
Beckett ignored her; he knew what he had to do. He had to set beautiful Eve free to find that soft, touchable woman he’d seen her become with the little girl.
She watched as the dirt kicked up in a cloud. When it cleared, she couldn’t see him anymore. She stayed until she couldn’t hear him anymore.
Staying.
Not chasing.
Not stopping him.
She knew she could bring him back. She was more than capable, and yet her feet refused to move. It felt like the little arms that had encircled her neck still clung there
She watched as the dirt kicked up in a cloud. When it cleared, she couldn’t see him anymore. She stayed until she couldn’t hear him anymore.
Staying.
Not chasing.
Not stopping him.
She knew she could bring him back. She was more than capable, and yet her feet refused to move. It felt like the little arms that had encircled her neck still clung there.
Was it my Anna? Was her name just a coincidence?
Eve hated that she had these questions, and that the only man she wanted to talk to about them was David. Have I just forsaken Beckett?
Roots continued to form. Her murderous hands remembered how satisfying clicking the seatbelt around Emily’s small body had been. It sounded just like releasing the safety on a gun. Could motherhood be even a tiny possibility?
Her inaction chose her future.
The men skipped their traditional greeting. They’d dropped the ritual. This was their unspoken acknowledgment of Beckett’s absence.
Debra AnastasiaRemember how many times I did my hair the day I married Kyle? I think that shirt is my hair for you today.”
Blake sighed. “What? Could you not launch riddles at me? I can’t think straight.
He grabbed her around the waist and put her in the center of the bed, then stood and admired her.
“I love you so much, I think there are burn marks on my heart.” Blake touched his chest.
“Do they hurt?” Livia wondered aloud with a wink.
“Only when I’m not holding you.” Blake trailed his fingertips from her ankle to the top of her thigh.
“Hold me always then. I’m yours.” Livia batted her lashes playfully until one of his hands gripped her gently bound wrists, and the other abandoned her leg to trace her jaw.
Blake kissed her lips until she finally fidgeted with anticipation.
He moved to stand behind her. “How many times did I watch you? So many. Wondering what you smelled like, right here.” He lifted her hair and grazed his nose along the nape of her neck.
“Exactly like fresh snow.” Blake grabbed two fistfuls of her hair, letting his lips brush her ear.
“And how often did I wonder what you tasted like?” He used her hair to turn her head. He leaned down to sample her lips. “Vanilla and lust.” He leaned down and ran his hands up her calves. “When you wore heels to the station? I couldn’t think for hours about anything other than this curve, right here behind your knee.”
“There isn’t a single spot I’ll miss tonight, my wife.
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