FH: All these... weirdos, and me... getting a little better every day right in the middle of 'em. I had never known... I had never even imagined for a heartbeat that... there might be a place in the world for people like us...Jesus' Son
Denis JohnsonEverything is arranged," John Robertson told me.
Thank God."
I forgot to mention that we appear to have one small problem," he said.
Okay..."
Evidently it seems Winston Holder has already left this morning to the border and Gbarnga. He took a journalist in."
A journalist? Who?"
I don't know who. They thought it must be you."
But it wasn't me. I'm me," I said, though from the first hour in this country I'd begun to doubt it.
I have Lincoln Smythe's address. He'll put us right. Everything will be arranged promptly, and we'll work out your itinerary."
I thought everything was arranged," I said.
By the bare bulb hung above our straw beds I saw, far back in John Robertson's eyes, the eternal West African question: What is this guy going on about?
Naturally," he said, "but we just have to work out your itinerary."
Everything is arranged doesn't mean you should expect to get anywhere or accomplish anything. In fact, for sanity's sake, those two ideas have to be banished: the idea of getting somewhere and the idea of accomplishing something. Everything is arranged means that all is complete, the great plan of the universe is unfolding before our eyes. So eat, drink, sleep. Everything is arranged.
Sometimes I heard voices muttering in my head, and a lot of the time the world seemed to smolder around its edges. but I was in a little better physical shape every day, I was getting my looks back, and my spirits were rising, and this was all in all a happy time for me. All these weirdos, and me getting a little better right in the midst of them. I had never known, never even imagined for a heartbeat, that there might be a place for people like us.
Denis JohnsonTag: beverely-home
eventually these encounters forced him to acknowledge the reality of fate, and the truth inherent in things of the imagination.
Denis JohnsonIn my writing, I want to be laid bare as a human being.
Denis JohnsonI have the belief in boldness. What I generally lack is the boldness itself.
Because boldness doesn't feel bold. It feels scared not brave.
When we were arguing on my twenty-fourth birthday, she left the kitchen, came back with a pistol, and fired it at me five times from right across the table. But she missed. It wasn't my life she was after. It was more. She wanted to eat my heart and be lost in the desert with what she'd done, she wanted to fall on her knees and give birth from it, she wanted to hurt me as only a child can be hurt by its mother.
Denis JohnsonTag: jesus abortion wedding dirty son johnson denis
And therefore I looked down into the great pity of a person’s life on this earth. I don’t mean that we all end up dead, that’s not the great pity. I mean that he couldn’t tell me what he was dreaming, and I couldn’t tell him what was real.
Denis JohnsonIts always been my tendency to lie to doctors, as if good health consisted only of the ability to fool them.
Denis JohnsonThe Americans won't win. They're not fighting for their homeland. They just want to be good. In order to be good, they just have to fight awhile and then leave.
Denis JohnsonTag: america vietnam-war
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