Where are you going?"
"Nowhere special. I just have some... things to do."
"Why did you pause?'
"I'm sorry?"
"You paused. You have 'some... things to do.'
"No reason, I just--"
"You're up to something."
"No--"
"Then why'd you pause?"
"Get in the car."
She got in. He got in.
"Seat belt," he said.
Why'd you pause?"
His head drooped. "Because I'm up to somthing."
"And why can't I come with you?"
"Because it's something sneaky."
"Do you promise to tell me later?"
"I do."
"Well all right then." She clicked her seat belt into place. "Let's go.
Tag: humor
They might be kittens," she said hopefully.
"They're stalking us."
"They might be shy."
"I don't think it's kittens, Valkyrie."
"Puppies, then?
Tag: humor
The Torment turned his head to him, and frowned. "Who are you?"
"I'm... sorry? It's me, it's Vaurien. Vaurien Scapegrace. I... built the cellar for you?"
"Oh," the Torment said. "You. Why are you back? I thought you were dead. It would have been nice if you were dead
Tag: humor
I cannot have chaos erupting around me until I am prepared for it. I am a collector. I am an observer. I don't participate. My resources, and my standing, must be secure before I can allow the uncertainty of war to crash down upon us.
Derek LandyTag: war preparedness passivity
What would killing the Elders result in?"
"Panic? Fear? Three empty parking spaces in the Sanctuary?
Tag: humour
This is your last chance to do the right thing.'
'Do you want to attack first, or will I?'
Skulduggery held up a finger. 'Do you mind if I confer with my colleague for a moment?'
'By all means.'
Skulduggery leaned in towards Valkyrie. 'Damn,' he whispered. 'She's not going to do the right thing.'
'Did you really think she would?'
'I was really hoping.'
'Can we beat her?' Valkyrie asked.
'I don't like our chances.'
'What are our chances?'
'We don't have any,' Skulduggery admitted. 'Do you think you can take Craven on your own?'
'No.'
'Me either. Do you want to leave him to me then, and you can take her?'
'I like that idea even less.'
'I don't blame you.'
She sighed. 'We're going to get killed, aren't we?'
'It looks likely. Our only hope is a surprise attack.'
'They're staring right at us.'
'Dammit.' Skulduggery straightened up. 'We have discussed the situation,' he said to them, 'and decided that it would be in everyone's best interests for me to fight you, Melancholia, and for both Valkyrie and Cleric Craven to stand back and cheer or boo as they see fit.
Get away from my ex-girlfriend, you moany little whinge-bag.'
Caelen took a deep breath, like he was in pain, and stood up. His voice was low, guttural. 'I was hoping I'd get the chance to kill you.'
'You won't be killing anyone, you sad little emo git.'
'You've stood in the way of our love for long enough.'
'Just listening to you makes me want to top myself, you self-pitying Paranormal Romance novel reject.'
Caelen glared. 'Stop insulting me.'
'Why? If you cry will your mascara run?
I try not to underestimate my opponents, no matter how ridiculous their beards.
Derek LandyYou should have called us. Desmond would have picked you up.'
'No I wouldn't,' Valkyrie's dad said, stepping into earshot. 'Sorry, Fletcher, but I had important fatherly duties to take care of, which included eating breakfast, showering, and finding my trousers. Of those three, I only managed two. Without looking down, can you guess which one I missed?'... Fletcher smiled back. 'I just want to borrow Stephanie for a moment.'
'Take our daughter,' Valkryie's dad said, waving a hand airily. 'We have another one now.
Tag: humour
He crouched at the car window and looked in. 'What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one.' His finger jabbed the glass. 'That one's a bit ugly.
Derek LandyTag: humour
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