I'm not the kind of guy who rides the same roller-coaster twice. Once is enough,and then the thrill is gone and so is the interest.

Emma Chase


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I get it now. Why Noah put that art room together for Allie. It wasn’t because he was a vagina; it was because he didn’t have a choice. She was it for him. No matter what he did, there was never gonna be anyone but her. So all he could do was set up the room and hope to God that one day she’d show up to use it. And that pretty much sums up exactly how I feel about you. So I did this—” I gesture around the room “—because I want you in my life, Kate. Permanently.

Emma Chase


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Where's a stray bullet from a random drive-by shooting when you need one?

Emma Chase

Tag: humor



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But the Anderson thing isn’t over yet. And as I’ve said before—this, my friends, is war. I’m talking DEFCON-one, gloves-off, I’ll-knock-you-down-even-if-you-are-a-girl war. You wouldn’t give a bullet to a sniper who’s got his gun aimed at your forehead, would you?

Emma Chase


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Her lips are moving. I know she’s trying to tell me something.

What it is? No clue.

“I don’t even know what that means!”

She points her finger at me. And hops up and down. “Yes, you do! You’re just purposely not seeing my point to drive me crazy.”

No, I’m really not. Because judging from this conversation? She’s already there.

And then a thought occurs to me. “Are you on the rag?”

Her mouth opens wide. And you might want to take a step back, because I think her head might actually explode.

Emma Chase


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See, sharks are natural predators. They’ll eat anything—including their own offspring.

Right after giving birth, however, the mother shark’s brain is flooded with endorphins, putting her into a kind of ecstatic coma. This gives the baby shark about ten minutes to swim away.

Because if he’s still around when Momma wakes up? He’s lunch.

Emma Chase


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So Mackenzie, have you decided what you want to be when you grow up?"
"Yep. I wanna be a princess. And i wanna mary a prince and live in a castle."
I need to talk to my sister. Disney is dangerous.

Emma Chase


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Uncle Drew?"
"Yes?"
"Is you gonna die alone?"
i smirk. "I don't plan on dying for a long time, honey"
"Momma says you're gonna die alone. She tol' Daddy that you gonna die and it be days till a Cleanin' lady find your rottin' corpse."
lovely. Thank you, Alexandra
"Wha's a corpse, uncle Drew?"
Wow.

Emma Chase


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I expect my sister to be compassionate about my heart ache. Gentle. Sympathetic.
What i get is, "you're a goddamn idiot, you know that, Drew?"
I bat you were starting to wonder why we call her The Bitch. Well, here you go.

Emma Chase


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For many men, their car is equivalent to the perfect woman. We can build her to look exactly how we want, we can ride her hard and she won't complain, and we can easily trade her in when a newer, younger model comes along. It's pretty much the ideal relationship.

Emma Chase


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