She’ll never forget this. She’ll always remember…me. Maybe that’s chauvinistic and egotistical, but it’s the truth. Up and down, over and over, I lick her from end to end.
Emma ChaseIdiots annoy me.” Mackenzie holds up the jar again, and in goes another dollar. The jar? It was invented by my sister, who apparently thinks my language is too harsh for her offspring. It’s the Bad Word Jar. Every time someone—usually me—swears, they have to pay a dollar. At this rate, that thing is going to put Mackenzie through college.
Emma ChaseNewsflash, ladies: We can’t read your thoughts. And frankly, I’m not entirely sure I’d want to. The female mind is a scary place to be.
Emma ChaseI carry Kate to the elevator, our lips and tongues dancing furiously. I didn’t lock my car. I don’t think I even closed the door. Fuck it. They can steal it. I have more important matters at hand. I stumble into the elevator…
Emma ChaseGod. I may end up being the first man in history capable of masturbating without touching himself. Look, Mom—no hands.
Emma ChaseMy stomach flips with regret and disappointment. What I wouldn’t give for a time machine.
Emma ChaseI’ve gone cold turkey. Completely. I haven’t even jerked off. Not once. In nine frigging days. I think the buildup of semen is starting to affect my brain. Like sugar to a diabetic.
Emma ChaseMackenzie raises her hand proudly. “I have a bagina.”
I smirk. “Yes, you do sweetheart. And someday, it’s gonna help you rule the world.
What happened to your fingers?” She’s referring to the Band-Aids that cover four of my ten digits.
“Mushrooms. Spongy little bastards don’t appreciate being sliced.
For a second, I’m stunned. She wanted this. Just as badly as I did. And I wasted all that time eating chicken Marsala—when I could have been eating her. God. Damn.
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