It's like he has emotional amnesia... I think you have to accept that the person you knew isn't there at the moment. I was witness to how much he loved you. I have the photos. This isn't the person we knew. I don't recognize this person. He's shed his skin." Her heart is broken too. She has to say the thing that will give me back my life. She draws on every reserve. I see how much it hurts her and it hurts me too. I came from her joy and her pain, I lived in it and I live in it now.

Emma Forrest

Tag: pain heartbreak love-loss



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You want to know, but are afraid to ask, whether or not I found someone. If there could be anyone to fill that hole in my heart after I lost him. I did.
"Life is futile," says my new therapist, Michaela,
"and no one gets out of it alive. There is only love.

Emma Forrest

Tag: love heartbreak



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The sadness ― the general sadness that squats and pees inside my brain ― isn't over.
It never will be.
I know how best to chase it away, though.
It usually works. Sometimes it doesn't.
But I pray and say, fuck it, then.
I choose this.
It chooses me.
I choose it back.

Emma Forrest

Tag: depression



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I finally accept that not only do I not
understand the death of my relationship,
but I do not need to.
These men were good and kind to me,
they loved me and I loved them back
and the shock at the finish holds no wisdom.
The revelation is not that I lost them,
but that I had them.

Emma Forrest

Tag: love heartbreak



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If killing yourself is not an option anymore,
you have to sink into the darkness instead,
and make something out of it.

Emma Forrest

Tag: suicide depression



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There is something deeply unsettling about a child crying insincerely.

Emma Forrest


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Now here I am, seventeen with a bullet.

Emma Forrest


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I envied women with signature hair-dos, signature perfumes, signature sign-offs. Novelists who tell Vogue Magazine: “I can’t live without my Smythson notebook, Pomegranate Noir cologne by Jo Malone and Frette sheets”. In the grip of madness, materialism begins to look like an admirable belief system.

Emma Forrest


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