I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?

Eoin Colfer


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Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told.
--Artemis Fowl

Eoin Colfer

Tag: command



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If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.

Eoin Colfer


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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

Eoin Colfer

Tag: mysterious



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You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.

Eoin Colfer


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That was all he said, except for "Aaaeerrgghhh." Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed "Aaaeerrgghhh" was that Franco had bitten him savegly on the wrist.

Eoin Colfer


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I miss my suits...

Eoin Colfer

Tag: humor



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I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.

Eoin Colfer

Tag: holly-short



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And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.

Eoin Colfer

Tag: artemi



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Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.

Eoin Colfer

Tag: artemis-fowl stupid goblin accept artemis fowl



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