You only live once. But if you work it right, once is enough.
Fred Allena group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done
Fred AllenHanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
Fred AllenLife, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
Fred AllenI'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.
Fred AllenTag: humor
Televisio is a vehicle that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
Fred AllenIt is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Fred AllenAll I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.
Fred AllenTag: humour
Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.
Fred AllenTag: entertainment radio
I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.
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