The worst thing about e-mail is that you can’t interrupt the other person. You have to read the whole thing and then e-mail them back, pointing out all their mistakes and faulty assumptions. It’s frustrating and it’s time-consuming. God bless phone calls.
George CarlinMost people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
George CarlinSometimes a little brain damage can help.
George CarlinEveryone smiles in the same language.
George CarlinA house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George CarlinIf you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
George CarlinWhen you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
George CarlinSome national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
George CarlinHere’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
George CarlinIf a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
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