June is gone. For the first time, the enormity of that hits me. Every muscle aches, my heart most of all. I am throbbing with how much I miss her. It hurts worse than anything. I don't know how I'm supposed to be expected to live day to day carrying this kind of pain. I don't know how I'm supposed to go out there, spread her ashes, and let her go.
I want to stop running away from everything.
I want to find something to run toward.
Stupid bitch," he spits, and that's when I mentally punch him in the face.
Except it isn't just mentally—it's for real, my closed fist is actually moving. It hits him square in the nose with a sickening crunch.
"Oh my God," Laney breathes from behind me.
"Oh my God," Jake says from the floor.
My eyes widen. "Oh my God.
Tag: funny
And even if we did, which we didn't, it's none of your business."
"Okay."
"I just wanted you to know."
"Okay."
"If you say okay one more time, I'm going to punch you in the solar plexus."
His eyebrows jump. "The solar plexus, huh?"
"Yes," I say. "I'm not exactly sure where that is, but I will find out. And then I will punch you there. Hard.
I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset.
Hannah HarringtonIt’s harder than you think, to find someone who truly believes in your unequivocal, unconditional awesomeness, especially when you’re like me: unspectacular in every way.
Hannah HarringtonAre you kidding? This is perfect! This is exactly what we've been hoping for! He has everything we need."
Okay, I'll admit. Turning it down does feel a little like kicking God in the balls.
I want the faith that there will be some kind of an answer, something more than these endless questions taking up so much space in my head, this feeling that nothing matters and nothing has a point.
Hannah HarringtonI don’t want to be so scared all the time. So alone. I want to believe something can be worth it. Worth the pain. Worth the risk.
Hannah HarringtonShe does know we're coming, right?' I ask.
'Well...' He hems and haws a bit. 'Not exactly.'
Laney immediately smacks the back of his head. 'Jake! You mean we're showing up unannounced? That is so rude!'
'What if she isn't there? What are we going to do?' I smack him once, too, for good measure. 'What is *wrong* with you?'
'Can we please stop with the abuse?
I already told you, I'm not gonna subscribe to your stupid magazine!' she yells.
'We're not selling anything,' Jake calls back. 'We just came to see my favorite chula this side of the Mississippi.'
The girl pauses and shields her eyes to get a better look. 'Jacob? That you?'
'In the flesh,' he confirms with a broad grin.
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