The true function of art is to criticize, embellish and edit nature… the artist is a sort of impassioned proof-reader, blue penciling the bad spelling of God.
H.L. MenckenAll that the YMCA's horse and rings really accomplished was to fill me with an ineradicable distaste, not only for Christian endeavor in all its forms, but also for every variety of calisthenics, so that I still begrudge the trifling exertion needs to climb in and out of the bathtub, and hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.
H.L. MenckenIf I had my way no man guilty of golf would be eligible to any office of trust or profit under the United States, and all female athletes would be shipped to the white-slave corrals of the Argentine.
H.L. MenckenIt is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and chemistry.
H.L. MenckenTag: catholic contraception family-planning
College football would be much more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if the trustees played. There would be a great increase in broken arms, legs, and necks, and simultaneously an appreciable diminution in the loss of humanity.
H.L. MenckenAll men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
H.L. MenckenDon’t overestimate the decency of the human race.
H.L. MenckenPlatitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.
H.L. MenckenImmortality is the condition of a dead man who doesn’t believe he is dead.
H.L. MenckenTag: immortality
To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!
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