I gave him my Order smile: sweet grin, hard eyes, reached over to my passenger seat, and pulled out my submachine gun. About twenty-seven inches long, the HK was my favorite toy for close-quarters combat. The rider’s eyes went wide.
“This is an HK UMP submachine gun. Renowned for its stopping power and reliability. Cyclic rate of fire: eight hundred rounds per minute. That means I can empty this thirty-round clip into you in less than three seconds. At this range, I’ll cut you in half.” It wasn’t strictly true but it sounded good. “You see what it says on the barrel?”
On the barrel, pretty white letters spelled out PARTY STARTER.
Tag: humor andrea-nash
Curran and Kate stood by the door.
“I can’t believe you decided to come down here and check on me,” she said.
“The guy once handed you a fan and told you to fan yourself if the sight of his naked torso was too much.”
“That was like a year ago. Will you let it go already?”
“No.” Curran grabbed her and pulled her to him, kissing her. “Never.”
She kissed him back and smiled.
Awww. Kate and the Beast Lord sitting in a tree…
Tag: kate-curran
I will devour you. I will lick your bones clean and crush them between my teeth. I will suck the marrow…”
“That’s nice,” Kate said. “The shield.
You will not pass!” Roman thundered.
Great. Now he had decided he was Gandalf.
Tag: funny gandalf lotr roman ilona-andrews snarkiness andrea-nash gunmetal-magic
The rage of the Beast Lord was a terrible thing to behold. Some people stormed, some punched things, but Curran slipped into this icy, bone-chilling calm. His face hardened into a flat mask, and his eyes turned into a molten inferno of pure gold. If you looked at it for longer than two seconds, your muscles locked, your knees shook, and you had to fight to keep from cringing. It was easier to look at the floor,
but I didn’t. Besides, he wasn’t angry with me. He wasn’t even angry with Kate. He was angry with Anapa. I had no doubt that if he could’ve gotten a hold of the god at that moment, he would’ve broken him in half.
“It’s only ribs,” Kate told him. “And they’re not even broken. They are fractured.”
“And the hip,” Doolittle said. “And the knee.”
There you go. Don’t expect mercy from a honeybadger.
“How long do you need to keep her?” Curran looked to Doolittle.
“She can go to her quarters, provided she doesn’t leave them,” Doolittle said. “I can’t do anything else with the magic down. She must stay down until I can patch her up.”
“She will.” Curran reached for Kate. “Hey, baby. Ready?”
She nodded. Curran slid his hands under her and picked her up, gently, as if she weighed nothing.
“Good?” he asked.
She put her arm around him. “Never better.
Tag: love tenderness curran ilona-andrews kate-daniels gunmetal-magic
Since we’re playing that game… I tilted my face up to his and gave him a lovesick gaze.
“Do you have to sneeze?” he asked.
“Be quiet. I’m pretending to enjoy your company, just as you said.”
“Try not to strain anything.”
“Oh, I won’t. I’m very good at faking it.”
That shut him up.
Tag: andrea-and-raphael
Did those nice church ladies come by again?"
He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else.
Tag: church funny awesome hilarious threesome kate-daniels andrea ascanio
He poked his finger into my chest again. “Well, I have something to tell you: don’t let the sun set on you in this county, because…”
I grabbed his wrist and yanked him forward, tripping him with my foot. He went down back first and I caught him by his throat, three feet above the ground, lifted him up a bit and bent down to his face. My eyes glowed with murderous red. My voice turned rough with an animal growl. “Listen well, because I won’t be repeating myself, you racist prick. If you make any trouble for me or my people, I’ll hunt you down like the pig you are and carve a second mouth across your gut. They’ll find you hanging by your own intestines. The next time you hear something laugh and howl in the night, hug your family, because you won’t see the sunrise.”
I opened my fingers. He crashed on the ground, his face white as a sheet. He scrambled backward, rolled to his feet, and took off.
The three shapeshifters stared at me, openmouthed.
“That’s how you intimidate people. No witnesses and not a mark on him. Get your asses to the car.
Tag: intimidation
Kate stood by the door with her arms crossed.
That was an anti-Curran pose. What the hell was the Beast Lord doing here?
I padded to the door.
“First, you didn’t come home.” Curran’s voice held zero humor. “Second, I’m told that my mate is lingering in Raphael’s house. There can’t be any good reason for you to be here.”
“Are you spying on me, Your Furriness?” Kate asked.
Tag: funny snark curran kate-daniels gunmetal-magic
At first glance you looked at Kate and thought “fighter,” maybe merc. Five inches taller than me, she was all muscle—well, and some boobs—but mostly muscle. She moved like a predator and when she got pissed off, she exhaled aggression, like hot breath on a winter evening. Still, men looked, until they saw her eyes. Kate’s eyes were crazy. It was that hidden-deep crazy that told you that you had no idea what the hell she would do next but whatever it was, the bad guys wouldn’t like it.
Ilona AndrewsTag: ilona-andrews kate-daniels gunmetal-magic
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