I'm pretty sure that if you looked up the word "nuts" in the dictionary, you'll find my picture. Just another fun feature of my mutant-birdkid-freak package.
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It sucked, but it was way cool at the same time," Gazzy said. "I felt like the Blue Angels!"
"Yeah, except the blue Angels are an extremely well funded, well equipped, well trained, well fed, and no doubt squeaky-clean group of crack navy pilots," I said. "And we're a bunch of unfunded, unequipped, semitrained, not nearly well fed enough, and filthy mongrel avian-human hybrids. But other than that, it's exactly the same.
And Max, I've put some scraps in a bowl for your dog," Mom said. "It's on the floor, by the back door."
The flock and I went still.
Uh-oh, I thought.
Total stomped up to me, his glare accusing. "A bowl on the floor!" he seethed. "Why don't you just chain me to a stake in the yard and throw me a bone!
Gazzy, man, jeezum!" Fang exclaimed. "What the heck have you been eating for God's sake?"
That was a smoke bomb!" Gazzy defended himself. "Not even i could fill this whole flippin' house!
I'm going to turn fifteen tomorrow," i said, warming to the idea. "It's high time. I can't remember when i turned fourteen." (said by Max)
If you get to be fifteen, then i get to be fifteen!" Iggy sounded indignant.
i looked at Fang. "Wanna be fifteen?"
His smile melted me. "Yeah.
You're lying through your fangs," Iggy accused.
Fang tried to play innocent--but "innocent Fang" is an oxymoron, so it didn't work.
I'll just ask now: What is it about my persona that draws every insane, power-hungry nutcase to me like a magnet?
James PattersonThe house was on fire," i greeted them tersely. "In case you're interested."
they both glanced up overhead as if to make sure the house was still standing. Fang sniffed, smelling the smoke.
It's out, right?" he said
Advanced life-forms, my seweet patootie. Jerks. Both of them.
James PattersonI whirled around and saw no one. No psychotic mad scientists, anyway.
"Jackpot, Max! Jackpot!" It was was Fang, and he was giggling hysterically.
For those of you just joining us, Fang doesn't giggle. Especially hysterically.
So for a second, this seemed like one of the weirder dreams of recent days.
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