Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said.

Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked.

Janet Evanovich

Tag: humor-relationships



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I got out of the tub and had to squelch a scream when I saw my reflection in the vanity mirror. My hair looked like it had taken 2000 volts and been spray starched

Janet Evanovich


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I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionally mature.

Janet Evanovich


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Be still my heart.

Janet Evanovich


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anyone else would have just killed the alligator

Janet Evanovich


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She doesn’t know,” Cate said. “Kellen is a secret. I didn’t think my mother would approve.”

“Why wouldn’t your mother approve?” Pugg asked.

“It’s my job,” Kellen said. “I kill people. It pays well, but it’s not universally socially acceptable.

Janet Evanovich

Tag: humor hitman



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At the other end of the room, Grandma had the lid up on Larry Lipinski. She was standing one foot on a folding chair, one foot on the edge of the casket, and she was taking pictures with a disposable camera.

Janet Evanovich

Tag: humor



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When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing.

Janet Evanovich

Tag: kindlehighlight



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I got out of the elevator and confronted Mr. Wexler. “Killing is wrong.”

“We kill chickens,” Mr. Wexler said. “We kill cows. We kill trees. So big deal, we kill some drug dealers.”

It was hard to argue with that kind of logic because I like cows and chickens and trees much better than drug dealers.

Janet Evanovich

Tag: kindlehighlight



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Cooking wasn’t so bad, I thought. In fact, it was a lot like sex. Sometimes it didn’t seem like such a good idea in the beginning, but then after you got into it …

Janet Evanovich

Tag: kindlehighlight



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