A blanket could be used to fix your broken marriage. You’ll also need duct tape, an empty car trunk, a getaway driver, and the most opportune moment to snatch your mother-in-law away to never be seen or heard from again.
Jarod KintzBricks, bricks, and bricks could be used instead of gold, silver, and bronze medals in the Olympics. If all an athlete cares about is winning, then I’ll take the precious metal off the international communities’ hands.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to paint a mural of your favorite politician. It doesn’t matter how accurate it is, just so long as people can tell it’s a snake.
Jarod KintzBlankets could be used as billboards on buildings, especially hotels, if you write things like, “Free sex with room.”
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to put the war in warm. Just paint the blanket like an American flag, and then try to convince the world that they are cold and need us to stop shivering. But before you do, consider they aren’t shivering from cold—they are shaking with rage.
Jarod KintzI’m not blanketing the truth when I say: Give a man a brick, and he’ll fish for a day. But give a man a fish, and he’ll brick for the rest of his life.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to alert your guest when he’s overstayed his welcome. But what’s even more effective would be a flying brick at his forehead. Subtlety can be a bit soft, and can make it hard to differentiate between leave my house immediately and please, spend the night.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used for political transparency. After all, what’s more see-through than a brick wall?
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to stop potential terrorist plots. But it sure would be more effective if I could just record every single phone conversation, email, text message, Google search, and Skype video chat from every single person in the country. Trust me, it’s what’s in the best interest of everyone.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used like a trumpet could be used as a murder weapon. And if the cops ask you what I was doing on the night of June 6th, tell them I was in the corner, playing the saxophone like it was a piano.
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