A blanket could be used to spot the blind. I’d spot Helen Keller nine points in a ten-point basketball game.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used to change the channel on a TV. Or at least turn it off—permanently.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used to practice your telepathic levitation. If you can lift the brick, you’ll lift your spirits.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used to test how fast you throw a baseball, if, you know, baseballs were cube-shaped and integral to the construction of houses.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used to build a house—or destroy it, one window at a time.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used to disguise the fact that I’m blushing. Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed! Don’t look at the rose of my ears, look at the rouge of the construction cube.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used to win the love of a beautiful girl. The trick to getting it to work is just trying it again and again until you get the desired results.


Jarod Kintz


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A blanket could be used to lure politicians to your side of an issue. Which is your side? Easy—the side I’m not sleeping on.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used to float a good idea at work—especially if it’s a good idea that would be bad for you personally.


Jarod Kintz


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A blanket could be used to stop gun violence. Make sleep, not war.


Jarod Kintz


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