Rather than sleeping myself, I practiced. I practiced taking everything I'd seen in the last few days-every horror, every drop of blood-and locking it away, so deep in my mind that I could pretend that nothing had happened.
And then I practiced letting it out.
This time, I didn't start with a specific memory. I didn't walk myself step by step through a scene. Instead, I built a room inside my head-a tiny room with white walls and no windows and no doors. No way out.
In that room, I put the sound of screams, tearing flesh, and heavy breathing, the smell of rancid blood. Everything I'd been holding back, everything threatening to devour me whole was there-in the ceiling of that room, the corners, the floor.
For a few seconds, I thought I might actually cry. That was so unlike me, I wasn't sure how to respond. Bronwyn Alessia St. Vincent Clare didn't get sad. She got mad. Or better, she got even.
Jennifer Lynn BarnesThere was nothing left. Nothing of him, and nothing of me.
Jennifer Lynn BarnesI'd sold my soul to get out of detention.
Jennifer Lynn BarnesTag: funny toby unbelievable
Little-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry.
Jennifer Lynn BarnesTag: funny cheerleaders toby sarcastic
I wondered and I prayed and I Googled.
Jennifer Lynn BarnesTag: google
You can't tell me I matter and then leave like I don't.
Jennifer Lynn BarnesTag: pain relationships
from Tattoo- "Push-up Bra Barbie over there wanted to smack you around a little to wake you up
Jennifer Lynn BarnesI am everything. I am nothing. I am powerful. I am forgotten.
Jennifer Lynn BarnesSecond thoughts? About the Squad?"
She nodded.
"I'm starting to think the CIA is seriously deranged for letting us do this," I told her, "but that doesn't mean I don't want to do it." I paused. "Actually, the fact that we probably shouldn't be doing this kind of makes me want to do it more."
Zee snorted. "Adrenaline junkie," she accused.
Tag: zee toby cia adrenaline squad toby-klein
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