Maybe you should say goodbye, Cal.'
'No.'
'It might be important.'
'It might make her die.

Jenny Downham

Tag: love death sad cancer before-i-die



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It's all right, Tessa, you can go. We love you. You can go now.'
'Why are you saying that?'
'She might need permission to die, Cal.'
'I don't want her to. She doesn't have my permission.

Jenny Downham

Tag: family death sad cancer before-i-die



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Her skin tasted expensive.

Jenny Downham


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Sometimes if you want something badly enough, you can make it happen. If you miss someone so desperately that it wrecks your insides, you say their name over and over until you conjure then. It's called sympathetic magic and you just have to believe in it to make it work.

Jenny Downham


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I'm going because my life was crap until I met you. I'm going because I don't want to be here when you're not, still living with my mum and nothing being any different. I wouldn't even be thinking about going if it hadn't been for you.

Jenny Downham

Tag: inspirational love



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How late is it? How long have we been sitting here? I look at my watch – three thirty and the
day is almost ending. It’s October. All those kids recently returned to classrooms with new bags and
pencil cases will be looking forward to half term already. How quickly it goes. Halloween soon, then
firework night. Christmas. Spring. Easter. Then there’s my birthday in May. I’ll be seventeen.

How long can I stave it off? I don’t know. All I know is that I have two choices – stay wrapped in
blankets and get on with dying, or get the list back together and get on with living.

Jenny Downham


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Don't think you have to be good because you're the only one left. Be as bad as you like.

Jenny Downham


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It was strange how words meant something when they came out of your mouth. Inside your head they were safe and silent, but once they were outside, people grabbed hold of them.

Jenny Downham


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There's a gang of boys on bikes blocking the road ahead. They've got their hoods up, cigarettes shielded. The sky's a really strange colour and there's hardly anyone else about. I slow right down.

"What shall I do?"

"Reverse," Zoey says. "They're not going to move."

I wind down the window. "Oi!" I yell "Move your arses!"

They turn languid, shift lazily to the edge of the road and grin as I blow kisses at them.

Zoey looks stunned, "What's got into you?"

"Nothing- I just haven't learned reversing yet.

Jenny Downham

Tag: driving before-i-die



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I sit up in bed and watch her fiddle about in the back of my wardrobe. I think she's got a plan. That's what's good about Zoey. She'd better hurry up though, because I'm starting to think of things like carrots. And air. And ducks. And pear trees. Velvet and silk. Lakes. I'm going to miss ice. And the sofa. And the lounge. And the way Cal loves magic tricks. And white things- milk, snow, swans.

Jenny Downham

Tag: thoughts before-i-die



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