Because you are defined not by life's imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them. And because there is joy in embracing - rather than running from - the utter absurdity of life.
Jenny Lawsonand whenever I had menstral cramps, I could just pretend that Voldemort was close.
Jenny LawsonI'm pretty sure 'ferral cats' is code for 'vampire cougars.
Jenny LawsonIf you try to make a shrimp boil, but the bag of spices bursts, and so you just toss it in along with whatever spices you can find in the pantry--you can make homemade pepper spray. Unintentionally.
And everyone at your dinner party will run outside for the next hour, coughing and tearing up as if they've been maced, because technically they kind of have been, because mace was one of the spices I found in the panty. I blame whoever makes spice out of mace, and I remind my gasping dinner guests that even if I did mace them, I did it in an old fashioned, homemade, Martha Stewart sort of way. With love.
YOU are using a frisbee as a plate."
"Uh, what? I'm not using a--oh hang on, this is a frisbee. Weird."
Victor glared at me.
"Dude, calm down, I'll wash it afterward. It's probably dishwasher safe.
No really. What exactly did you do today, Jenny? Quantify it for me."
"It's not quantifiable. There aren't even metrics for the shit I do.
When Hailey was born my first thought was that I needed a drink and that hospitals should have bars in them.
Jenny LawsonI am the Wizard of Oz of housewives (in that I am both "Great and Terrible" and because I sometimes hide behind the curtains
Jenny LawsonTag: humor housewives wizard-of-oz
I can finally see that all the terrible parts of my life, the embarrassing parts, the incidents I wanted to pretend never happened, and the things that make me "weird" and "different," were actually the most important parts of my life. They were the parts that made me ME.
Jenny LawsonMeanwhile, I was doodling pictures of vampiric cougars.
Jenny LawsonTag: humor
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