So often we try to make other people feel better by minimizing their pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that's not what I actually needed.
What I actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered. I have found this very useful to think about over the years, and I find that it is a lot easier and more bearable to be sad when you aren't constantly berating yourself for being sad.
Sinking. Sinking, but instead of feeling panic or anything else, I realized that "Please guys, don't" were terrible last words.
John GreenAlthough no one will ever accuse me of being much of a science student, one thing I learned from science classes is that energy is never created and never destroyed. And if Alaska took her own life, that is the hope I wish I could have given her. Forgetting her mother, failing her mother and her friends and herself—those are awful things, but she did not need to fold into herself and self-destruct. Those awful things are survivable, because we are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be. When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail.
John GreenBut it was the last string. It was a lame string, for sure, but it was the one I had left, and every paper girl needs at least one string.
John GreenAlmost everyone is obsessed with leaving a mark upon the world. Bequeathing a legacy. Outlasting death. We all want to be remembered. I do, too. That’s what bothers me most, is being another unremembered casualty in the ancient and inglorious war against disease. I want to leave a mark. But… The marks humans leave are too often scars. You build a hideous minimall or start a coup or try to become a rock star and you think, “They’ll remember me now," but (a) they don’t remember you, and (b) all you leave behind are scars. Your coup becomes a dictatorship. Your minimall becomes a lesion.
John GreenI would lean forward and trace my hands down your arms and curve my neck into yours and let you turn into me and rest there for a while and when you were ready, i'd kiss you once and lift myself away, sit back on your bed and wait for you there, just so we could lie there, and you could hold me and i could hold you. And it would be so peaceful. Like the feeling of sleep, but being awake in it together.
John GreenTag: love will-grayson-will-grayson
Smettila di guardare il cielo, altrimenti uno di questi giorni abbasserai gli occhi e ti accorgerai che sei volato via anche tu.
John GreenAnche se desideri farlo, andartene è difficile, sempre.
John GreenTag: fine andare-via andarsene sparire
Какво друго? Тя е красива. Никога няма да се умориш да я гледаш. Нито пък се налага да се тревожиш дали не е по-умна от теб: защото със сигурност е така. Обичам я. Такъв късмет е, Ван Хутен, че я обичам. Защото, старче, нямаш право на избор дали да бъдеш наранен - сам можеш да избереш единствено кой да те нарани. Аз съм доволен от избора си. Дано и тя да е доволна от своя.
John GreenAnd yet still I worried. I like being a person. I wanted to keep at it. Worry is yet another side effect of dying.
John GreenTag: worry john-green the-fault-in-our-stars side-effects
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