Look what the cat dragged in," Ms. Skoglund said. "Were you waylaid by all your female admirers?"
"It's nothing like that," the boy said. "Besides, you know I only have eyes for you."
"Sure you do," Ms. Skoglund said. "I mean, why bother with one of those skinny little things your age when you can go for someone who's trying to lose another thirty pounds before her twenty-year class reunion next summer? That makes sense.

Jon S. Lewis

Tag: humor



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I'm actually supposed to meet someone."
Oz smiled. "A lady friend? I don't know why I'm surprised. Every girl on campus is talking about you."
"Why does it sound creepy when you say it like that?

Jon S. Lewis


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Will you relax?" Oz said. "Trust me, you're going to love it."
"Whenever you smile like that, it means something bad is about to happen."
"O ye of little faith.

Jon S. Lewis


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Will you say something?" he asked.
"Like what? Congratulations on almost getting yourself killed? I mean, you just told me that you flew here on some kind of winged motorcycle while masked men in jet packs tried to shoot you with ray guns. Forgive me if I don't do cartwheels through the restaurant while I try to decide if you've lost your mind.

Jon S. Lewis


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Relax, Salazar. I'm just messing around. Besides, I have my eye on somebody right now."
"Who?" Danielle and Colt said at the same time.
"That's on a need-to-know basis," Oz said, "and right now neither one of you needs to know.

Jon S. Lewis


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Don't do anything stupid." - Oz
"Like what?" - Colt
"I don't know, but whatever it is, don't do it." - Oz

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It doesn't sound very safe." - Colt
"We're breaking into a company owned by aliens who want to wipe humans off the map. It's not supposed to be safe." - Oz
"I guess you have a point." - Colt

Jon S. Lewis


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Is that what I think it is?" - Colt
"Plastic explosives." - Oz
"You have stuff like that lying around your house?" - Colt
"Doesn't everybody?" Oz smiled as he walked to the far corner of the bunker, dragging Colt with him.

Jon S. Lewis


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I guess the breakfast burritos are going to have some extra protein in the morning.

Jon S. Lewis

Tag: humor funny humorous



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Oz had access to information the rest of the world didn't know existed. His dad was the director of an organization called CHAOS-Central Headquarters Against the Occult and Supernatural. They were a bit like the CIA or the FBI, but instead of going after drug cartels or spying on the Russians, they protected the world from nightmares like bioengineered monsters, alien life forms, and sparkling vampires.

Jon S. Lewis


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