Where did you go?' His voice drops just slightly and loses even the suggestion of a smile.
He's watching me like he's not sure he's allowed to ask question, and he's not even sure he wants the answer. I can almost see grandfather's word and josh's doubt about them swimming in his head. On every side of me are the lights and the tools and the wood and the boots and the boy I want to see forever. And if the my Sea of Tranquility were real, it would be this place, here, with him.
I don't say anything right away, because I just want one minute to look at his face before I gave him my last secret.
And then I tell him.
'Your garage.
I feel like I’m waiting here. Waiting for something that hasn’t happened yet. Something that isn’t yet. But that’s all I feel and nothing else. I don’t know if I even exist.
Katja MillayI live in a world without magic or miracles. A place where there are no clairvoyants or shapeshifters, no angels or superhuman boys to save you. A place where people die and music disintegrates and things suck. I am pressed so hard against the earth by the weight of reality that some days I wonder how I am still able to lift my feet to walk.
Katja MillayTag: inspirational magic angels shapeshifters
I live in a world without magic or miracles. A place where there are no clairvoyants or shapeshifters, no angels or superhuman boys to save you. A place where people die and music disintegrates and things suck. I am pressed so hard against the earth by the weight of reality that some days I wonder how I am still able to lift my feet to walk
Katja MillayWhat did you see when you died?"
He has that tenative half smile, like he's almost embarrassed by what he's saying. "Because I'm guessing it wasn't the Sea of Tranquility."
And when I look at him, I'm not so sure it wasn't.
“Where did you go?" His voice drops just slightly and loses even the suggestion of a smile.
He's watching me like he's not sure he's allowed to ask the question, and he's not even sure he wants the answer. I can almost see his grandfather's words and Josh's doubts about them swimming in his head. On every side of me are the lights and the tools and the wood and the boots and the boy I want to see forever. And if the my Sea of Tranquility were real, it would be this place, here, with him.
I don't say anything right away, because I just want one minute to look at his face before I give him my last secret.
And then I tell him.
"Your garage.
Tag: love fate sunshine soul-mates josh-bennett favourite-scene katja-millay the-sea-od-tranquility
Was the cake at least good?” He knows where my heart lies.
Katja MillayYou sure you won't come?' she asks. She always asks when she's going out with Drew. But I won't subject myself to that, even to be close to her. Drew pulls into the driveway and saves me from having to answer.
'Nice boots. I like it. Maybe I'll let you keep those on.'
She flips him off but it means nothing.
'You should come,' he says to me. 'I can hook you up.'
'Hook yourself up. I'm good.'
'Yeah, we know.' He looks at Nastya. 'I'm good, too. I have my own personal Sunshine to keep me warm.'
Something in me snaps with that. He goes out with her; he touches her; he says shit no one should be allowed to get away with to her. But he cannot call her Sunshine. I'm nailing a board down over my anger so I don't blow up. They'll be out of here in a minute and it'll be over. I wish they'd get out of here now.
'Call me Sunshine again, and I will murder you, cocksucker.
You know I meant it. I am human. And male. And not remotely blind. Do you want me to say it again? You are distractingly, even-if-that-is-not-a-real-word, pretty. You are so pretty that I bullied Clay Whitaker into drawing me a picture of you so I could look at you when you aren’t around. You are so pretty that one of these days I’m going to lose a finger in my garage because I can’t concentrate with you so close to me. You are so pretty that I wish you weren’t so I wouldn’t want to hit every guy at school who looks at you, especially my best friend.” I stop to catch my breath. “More? I can keep going.” I can keep going, but even as I say all of this, I know it’s not quite true. She’s not just distractingly pretty. She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and I want to touch her so badly right now that it’s almost impossible to keep my hands from reaching out and doing it.
Katja MillayTag: josh-bennett
What would you do if I kissed you right now?'
'I'd probably let you, just to see what all the fuss is about. Then I'd rip your lips off and feed them to you, which would be kind of hard because, you know, you'd have no lips.
And maybe I’m a liar and I do need it, because being kissed by Josh Bennett is kind of like being saved. It’s a promise and a memory of the future and a book of better stories.
When he stops, I’m still here, and he’s still looking at me like he can’t believe I am, and I want to keep that look forever.
“Emilia,” he says, and when he does, it warms me to my soul. “Every day you save me.
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