If you can swing it, getting arrested is the high point of the Fourth of July. Also, the reading of the Declaration of Independence is exciting. (Yes, the Declaration was written two years after Essex is officially set. No, this doesn't stop us.) […] Essex stayed open late that night, for the holiday. Our patriotism cannot be constrained by an eight-hour workday.

Leila Sales

Tag: deadpan



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What can I say, I have a thing for guys in period dress, okay? That's just who I am.

Leila Sales


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Fiona says that I have trouble moving on. That I cling to the past...I knew that I would miss it. I'd miss the way my life used to be when I worked there. I always miss the way my life used to be, and the best way to prevent that is to not change my life very much.

Leila Sales


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Those are pretty much the only questions people ask Colonials. If they want you to tell them anything else, just make it up. They will believe you, because you are wearing a costume.

Leila Sales

Tag: humor



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Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and all. But my father and I have the sort of loving relationship in which, whenever he says more than one sentence in a a row to me, I want to stab myself in the heart with a a recently formed silver knife.

Leila Sales


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This is who Ezra is dating now. He is now into girls who are into dressing up as nineteenth century prostitutes. For the hats.

Leila Sales


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I could not figure out what they were doing in an ice cream shop, since they couldn't possible eat calories. I imagined they just fed off the misery of less cool people.

Leila Sales


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Sometimes you get everything you ever wanted, only it doesn't look like what you wanted anymore.

Leila Sales

Tag: happiness love relationships heartbreak



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Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.

Leila Sales


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I glared at him. “You came all the way to Essex just to spy on us?”

“Yeah.” He smirked. “I crossed the street. It was really rough.

Leila Sales

Tag: funny comebacks



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