But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case, welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

Lemony Snicket

Tag: humorous



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Let’s see! I’ll put you to work right away! Aye! No—first I’ll give you a tour! No—I’ll introduce you to my crew! No—I’ll let you rest! No—I’d better get you into uniforms! Aye! It’s important that everyone aboard wear a waterproof uniform in case the submarine collapses and we find ourselves underwater! Of course, in that case we’ll need diving helmets! Except Sunny because she can’t wear one! I guess she’ll drown! No—she can curl up inside a diving helmet! Aye! The helmets have a tiny door on the neck just for such purpose! Aye! I’ve seen it done! I’ve seen so many things in my time!”
“Excuse me,” Violet said, “but could you tell us who you are?

Lemony Snicket


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I guess we’ll be traveling in uncharted waters.”
“That’ll be fun,” Phil said.

Lemony Snicket


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Hup hup ha ha hammy hee hee!

Lemony Snicket


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The last time I saw you, I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!

Lemony Snicket


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Tee hee torture!

Lemony Snicket


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I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!

Lemony Snicket


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Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-”
“It’s Herman Melville.

Lemony Snicket


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Sometimes even in most unfortunate of lives there will occur a moment or two of good.

Lemony Snicket


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Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.

Lemony Snicket


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