The word "dreadful," even when used three times in a row, did not seem like a dreadful enough word to describe everything that had happened.

Lemony Snicket


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The book did not say anything about a statue, valuable or otherwise, and so I stopped reading about the Bombinating Beast and got interested in the chapter about the Stain'd witches, who had ink instead of blood in their veins. I wondered what they kept in their pens.

Lemony Snicket

Tag: humor wonder witches blood ink



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How did you do that?” Mr. Poe asked. “Nice girls shouldn’t know how to do such things.”
“My sister is a nice girl,” Klaus said, “and she knows how to do all sorts of things.

Lemony Snicket

Tag: feminism



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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

Lemony Snicket

Tag: humor simile fate



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Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.

Lemony Snicket


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I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.

Lemony Snicket

Tag: love heartbreak lovers



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There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.

Lemony Snicket

Tag: training tools nagging apprentices examples



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When things don't go right, go left

Lemony Snicket


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There are some who say that sitting at home reading is the equivalent of travel, because the experiences described in the book are more or less the same as the experiences one might have on a voyages, and there are those who say that there is no substitute for venturing out into the world. My own opinion is that it is best to travel extensively but to read the entire time, hardly glancing up to look out of the window of the airplane, train, or hired camel.

Lemony Snicket


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A good thing to do when one is sitting, eating, and resting is to have a conversation.

Lemony Snicket


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