You can't put too much spin on a miracle.
Mark TwainNever put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Mark TwainA humorous treatment of the rigid uniformitarian view came from Mark Twain. Although the shortening of the Mississippi River he referred to was the result of engineering projects eliminating many of the bends in the river, it is a thought-provoking spoof:
The Mississippi between Cairo and New Orleans was twelve hundred and fifteen miles long one hundred and seventy-six years ago. . . . Its length is only nine hundred and seventy-three miles at present.
Now, if I wanted to be one of those ponderous scientific people, and “let on” to prove what had occurred in the remote past by what had occurred in a given time in the recent past . . . what an opportunity is here! Geology never had such a chance, nor such exact data to argue from! . . .
In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Lower Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. That is an average of a trifle over one mile and a third per year. Therefore, any calm person, who is not blind or idiotic, can see that in the Old Oolitic Silurian Period, just a million years ago next November, the Lower Mississippi River was upwards of one million three hundred thousand miles long, and stuck out over the Gulf of Mexico like a fishing-rod. And by the same token any person can see that seven hundred and forty-two years from now the lower Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. . . . There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
Tag: uniformity
Boggs comes a-tearing along on his horse, whooping and yelling like an Injun, and singing out: "Clear the track, thar. I'm on the waw-path, and the price uv coffins is a-gwyne to raise."
He was drunk, and weaving about in his saddle; he was over fifty year old, and had a very red face. Everybody yelled at him and laughed at him and sassed him, and he sassed back, and said he'd attend to them and lay them out in their regular turns, but he couldn't wait now because he'd come to town to kill old Colonel Sherburn, and his motto was, "Meat first and spoon vittles to top off on." He see me, and rode up and says:"Whar'd you come f'm boy? You prepared to die?" Then he rode on. I was scared, but a man says: "He don't mean nothing; he's always a-carryin' on like that when he's drunk. He's the best-naturedest old fool in Arkansaw--never hurt nobody, drunk no sober.
He done his level best.
Was he a mining on the flat..
He done it with a zest..
Was he a leading of the choir..
He done his level best.
If he'd a reg'lar task to do,
He never took no rest..
Or if 'twas off and on the same..
He done his level best.
If he was preachin' on his beat,
He'd tramp from east to west,
And north to south ..in cold and heat..
He done his level best.
He'd Yank a sinner outen (Hades),
And land him with the blest;
Then snatch a prayer'n waltz in again,
And do his level best.
He'd cuss and sing and howl and pray,
And dance and drink and jest,
He done his level best.
Whate'er this man was sot to do
He done it with a zest;
No matter what his contract was,
He'd do his level best...
Tag: humorous funny-and-random mark-twain-inspirational
The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories— and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.
Mark TwainTag: funny fun joke laugh masturbation mark-twain smoke
the sun was up so high when i waked, that i judged it was after eight o’clock. i laid there in the grass and the cool shade, thinking about things and feeling rested and ruther comfortable and satisfied. i could see the sun out at one or two holes, but mostly it was big trees all about, and gloomy in there amongst them. there was freckled places on the ground where the light sifted down through the leaves, and the freckled places swapped about a little, showing there was a little breeze up there. a couple of squirrels set on a limb and jabbered at me very friendly.
Mark TwainTag: huck-finn
Mostra la citazione in tedesco
Mostra la citazione in francese
Mostra la citazione in italiano
It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Mark TwainTag: success ignorance confience inexerienced
Mostra la citazione in tedesco
Mostra la citazione in francese
Mostra la citazione in italiano
Puterea absolută e într-adevăr un lucru ideal, când se află în mâini sigure. Despotismul cerului e singura guvernare desăvârşită. Un despotism pământean ar fi cea mai desăvârşită guvernare pământească, dacă ar exista aceleaşi condiţii - adică dacă despotul ar fi cel mai desăvârşit exemplar al speţei umane şi dacă viaţa sa ar fi veşnică. Dar, întrucât un om perfect este pieritor şi orice-ar face tot trebuie să moară, lăsându-şi stăpânirea în mâinile unui moştenitor imperfect - un despotism pământean nu numai că e o formă rea de guvernare, ci e chiar cea mai rea formă posibilă.
Mark TwainWhat, sir, would the people of the Earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
Mark Twain« prima precedente
Pagina 95 di 104.
prossimo ultimo »
Data privacy
Imprint
Contact
Diese Website verwendet Cookies, um Ihnen die bestmögliche Funktionalität bieten zu können.