Charlotte, dressed in a very short-skirted policewoman's outfit, was leading a dancing brigade, jumping around at the front of the room, her long red hair flapping up and down like a matador's cape. She was head girl, and she would shows us how to party if she had to.
I wasn't really sure why Charlotte had decided to come to the party as a stripper. I found myself at a loss for words as she complimented us on our costumes.
"You're a..." I tried to find the right thing to say. "Really...hot cop?"
"I'm Amy Pond," she said. "From Doctor Who. This is her kissogram outfit.

Maureen Johnson


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She looks like a jumper to me. Jumpers do that a lot, stand on the edge and stare out. Never kill yourself in a Tube station. Tip number one. You might end up down here forever, staring at the wall."
Stephen coughed a little.
"Just giving advice," Callum said.

Maureen Johnson


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No sausage?" he asked.
Apparently my pork consumption habits were a matter of public record.

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What are you?" I asked.
"I'm the Ghost of the Night Before Exams."
"And how long did it take you to come up with that?" Jazza asked.
"I'm a busy man," he replied.

Maureen Johnson


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No one hid their interest when I walked into the room. I'm not sure if it was the news about Boo or my general appearance. At home, people would have asked. People would have been crawling all over me for information.
At Wexford, they seemed to extract what they wanted to know by covert staring.

Maureen Johnson


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All right. Normal rules apply."
"Right."
The man walked off, leaving us.
"What are the normal rules?" I asked.
"He walks away and has a tea break and doesn't ask any questions.

Maureen Johnson


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I'm the last of the mad ones.

Maureen Johnson

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New start or not, there was a line to be drawn, and that line was singing musicals to yourself as serious psychological motivation.

Maureen Johnson


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Lies are a tremendous karmic setback. Keep it up and you'll come back in the next life as something without a spine. You're not fine. And you don't have to be fine.

Maureen Johnson


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It was very pretty. It also made Marlene look very demure, which she probably hated. Ideally, Marlene probably wanted an outfit that had a special holder for a gun.

Maureen Johnson


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