my academic career was indifferent to the point of beauty- I was so unremarkable, in every way, that the unvarying precision of my mediocrity achieves a kind of loveliness

Mil Millington

Tag: humor mediocrity acamedic



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Zach was sitting in the passenger seat, seemingly calm and happy and content with his place in the world. The git.

Mil Millington


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No, no, no, no, no. Sex should not be fun, okay? Sex can be lots of things - thrilling, romantic, scary, mindless, dirty, dangerous, frantic, forbidden, freaky - but if you're finding it 'fun,' you're doing it wrong.

Mil Millington


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Just think of Emily Bronte, for example: psychotically bookish - but was there ever a woman screaming out so loudly for a good f***ing? I even suspect that's why Wuthering Heights carries on decades too long rather than sensibly drawing the curtains a little after Cathy's death. It was Bronte saying, 'Look - I'm simply going to keep on writing this stuff until someone comes and shags me raw.

Mil Millington


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I'd thought I'd felt like shit that day, but really I'd barely even entered the intestine.

Mil Millington


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The annoying thing about time is that it takes time...but no amount of it is enough when you are waiting to be sure. Time alone can tell you what will last.

Mil Millington


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Happiness has a high body count.

Mil Millington


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All real estate agents should be put on a decommissioned naval frigate which is then towed out into the deepest part of the Atlantic and sunk. It's rather unfortunate that, in recent years, real estate agents have become comedy betes-noires. Rather like lawyers or used car salesmen. Every time they mention their job they probably get people amusingly making the sign of the cross at them or are subjected to some good-natured, humorous ribbing. This has the effect of distorting what I'm trying to say here, which isn't in the nature of a smiling roll of the eyes and a "Tsk, real estate agents, eh?" but rather "All real estate agents should be put on a decommissioned naval frigate which is then towed out into the deepest part of the Atlantic and sunk.

Mil Millington

Tag: humor humorous-quotes real-estate-agents



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The efficacy of an arbitrary personal attack is that it clears a path for the important issues.

Mil Millington


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She wants to paint the living room yellow. I have not the words.

Mil Millington

Tag: humor relationships



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