I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad.
Ned VizziniI want my brain to slide back into the slot it was meant to be in, rest there the way it did before the fall of last year, back when I was young, witty, and my teachers said I had incredible promise.
Ned VizziniI'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human.
Ned VizziniI think you run out of 'I love yous
Ned VizziniI lie there thinking about how everything I've done is a failure, death and failure, and there's no hope for me except being homeless, because I'm never going to be able to hold a job because everyone else is so much smarter.
Ned VizziniIT's all about being able to live a sustainable life. I don't think I'm going to be able to have one.
Ned VizziniOne thing I've learnt recently: how to think nothing. Here's the trick: don't have any interest in the world around you, don't have any hope for the future, and be warm.
Ned VizziniI feel dead, wasted, awful, broken and useless. It's not the kind of feeling you forget.
Ned VizziniDo you have difficulty sleeping?”
“Sometimes not. When I do it’s bad, though. I lie there thinking about how everything I’ve done is a failure, death and failure, and there’s no hope for me except being homeless, because I’m never going to be able to hold a job because everyone else is so much smarter.
I wish I was Dumbo the Octopus. Adapted to freezing deep-ocean temperatures, I’d flop around down there at
peace. The big concerns of my life would be what sort of bottom-coating slime to feed off of—that’s not so different from now—plus I wouldn’t have
any natural predators; then again, I don’t have any now, and that hasn’t done me a whole lot of good. But it suddenly makes sense: I’d like to be
under the sea, as an octopus.
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