Job happiness is directly proportional to the distance you are from the home office.

Nelson DeMille


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Mrs. Corey still uses her maiden name for business, or when she wants to pretend she doesn’t know me.

Nelson DeMille


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…made me promise to cut down on the drinking and swearing, which I have. Unfortunately, this has left me dim-witted and nearly speechless.

Nelson DeMille


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I want to be back to work next week.
'Let’s get you home first. I need to evaluate the extent of your mental impairment.' She tried to flash me the peace sign, but in her weakend condition, she only managed to raise her middle finger.

Nelson DeMille


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Kate had never been married, so she had no way of knowing if I was a normal husband. This has been good for our marriage.

Nelson DeMille


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How you doing at 26 Fed?"
“I’m growing and learning, meeting new challenges with confidence and enthusiasm while developing good work ethics and people skills.”
“I’m surprised they haven’t fired your ass.”
“Me too.

Nelson DeMille


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Detective Ramos confided in me, 'If something happens to you on my watch my ass is O-U-T.' 'How do you think I’d feel? D-E-A-D.

Nelson DeMille


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The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.

Nelson DeMille

Tag: humor



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I tried to picture a bunch of guys in blue suits running around a beachside neighborhood, knocking on doors and flashing Fed creds. That should cause a stampede of illegal aliens heading south.

Nelson DeMille

Tag: funny witty



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You get a promotion?"
"I got a polite, but firm suggestion to be a team player. [...]"
"You got off easy. One of my commanding officers once threw a paperweight at me."
"We're a bit more subtle.

Nelson DeMille

Tag: funny witty



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