The thought of being engaged to a girl who talked openly about fairies being born because stars blew their noses, or whatever it was, frankly appalled me.

P.G. Wodehouse


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But why do you want me? I mean, what am I? Ask yourself that."

"I often have.

P.G. Wodehouse


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Once more he became silent, staring before him with sombre eyes. Following his gaze, I saw that he was looking at an enlarged photograph of my Uncle Tom in some sort of Masonic uniform which stood on the mantlepiece. I've tried to reason with Aunt Dahlia about this photograph for years, placing before her two alternative suggestions: (a) To burn the beastly thing; or (b) if she must preserve it, to shove me in another room when I come to stay. But she declines to accede. She says it's good for me. A useful discipline, she maintains, teaching me that there is a darker side to life and that we were not put into this world for pleasure only.

P.G. Wodehouse


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Bertie, do you read Tennyson?"

"Not if I can help.

P.G. Wodehouse


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Writing my books I enjoy. It is the thinking them out that is apt to blot the sunshine from my life.

P.G. Wodehouse


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What with one thing and another, I can't remember ever having been chirpier than at about this period in my career. Everything seemed to be going right. On three separate occasions horses on which I'd invested a sizeable amount won by lengths instead of sitting down to rest in the middle of the race, as horses usually do when I've got money on them. ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster - The Inimitable Jeeves

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: betting wodehouse jeeves wooster horse-racing



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I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: humor bad-mood disgruntlement



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There is nothing an author today has to guard himself more carefully against than the Saga Habit. The least slackening of vigilance and the thing has gripped him.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: books vigilance habit series



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All I tried to do was to give the little brute a cheerful expression. But, as it worked out, he looks positively dissipated.

P.G. Wodehouse


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He wore the unmistakable look of a man about to be present at a row between women, and only a wet cat in a strange back yard bears itself with less jauntiness than a man faced by such a prospect.

P.G. Wodehouse


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