If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.

P.J. O'Rourke

Tag: celebrity celebrities celebrity-culture



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What's important about morality in politics is us. We own the chicken farm. We must give our bird-brained, feather-headed politicians morals. Politicians love to think of themselves as "free-range" but they do not have the capacity to hunt or gather morals in the wild. If we fail to supply them with morality, politicians begin to act very scary in the barnyard. These are enormous headless chickens and they have nukes.

P.J. O'Rourke


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Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

P.J. O'Rourke


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Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit. A politician is anyone who asks individuals to surrender part of their liberty - their power and privilege - to State, Masses, Mankind, Planet Earth, or whatever. This state, those masses, that mankind, and the planet will then be run by . . . politicians.

P.J. O'Rourke

Tag: humor politics-observation



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W is for Women. They're awful, mendacious,
Nasty and selfish, cruel and salacious,
As thievish as gypsies, more crazy than Celts.
Be sure that you never fuck anything else.

P.J. O'Rourke

Tag: 1987 an-alphabet-for-schoolboys



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The Affordable Health Care for Americans Act, passed by the House of Representatives on November 7, 2009, was 1,990 pages long. You could stand on it to paint the ceiling. The entire U.S. Constitution can be printed on eight pages. That's eight pages to run a whole country for 221 years versus four reams of government pig latin if you slam your thumb in a car door.

P.J. O'Rourke

Tag: healthcare-reform



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When someone detonates a suicide bomb, that person does not have career prospects.

P.J. O'Rourke

Tag: humor careers



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The world is going to hell. All we can do is look good on the trip.

P.J. O'Rourke


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Microeconomics is about money you don't have, and macroeconomics is about money the government is out of.

P.J. O'Rourke

Tag: econ-101



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When Adam Smith was being incomprehensible he didn’t have the luxury of brief, snappy technical terms as a shorthand for incoherence.

P.J. O'Rourke


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