I hadn't understood funeral pyres before, but now I do. It's ghastly to burn someone you love but watching the smoke going into the sky, I think that's rather beautiful now. And I wish Tess could be up in the sky. Somewhere with color and light and air.
Rosamund LuptonTag: funeral death-of-a-loved-one
Things are embarrassing, best to avoid them. But since your death I prefer a naturalist style of conversation. Let's strip it down to what matters. Let's have emotions and beliefs on show without the modest covering of small talk.
Rosamund LuptonTag: change conversation
An explosion in space makes no sound at all.
Rosamund LuptonAnd I felt closer to you. Because you knew me so much better than I'd realized - and still loved me.
Rosamund LuptonIt makes the other one more precious and also not enough. We have to try to fill not only our own boots but other people's too - yours, Leo's, Dad's. We have to expand at the moment we feel the most shrunk.
Rosamund LuptonBut, astonishingly, I'm not broken. I'm not destroyed. Terrified witless, shaking, retching with fear, yes. But no longer insecure. Because during my search for how you died, I somehow found myself to be a different person. ... Living my life. And it wouldn't be my grief for you that toppled the mountain, but love.
Rosamund LuptonTag: love self-discovery
Sleep, baby, sleep
Your father tends the sheep
Your mother shakes the dreamland tree
And from it fall sweet dreams of thee
Sleep, baby, sleep.
Tag: lullaby
You told me once that the last of the senses to go is hearing. But you're wrong. The last of the senses to go is love.
Rosamund LuptonCan you get a summer snow-globe instead of a winter one with green grass and flowering azalea bushes and blue sky? Because I'm here, inside it. If you shake it, perhaps it fills with black smoke, not swirling snowflakes.
Rosamund LuptonI've always been intimidated by handsome men, let alone beautiful ones. I associate them not so much with inevitable rejection as with turning me completely invisible.
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