I only steal because my dear old family needs the money to live!"
Locke Lamora made this proclamation with his wine glass held high; he and the other Gentleman Bastards were seated at the old witchwood table. . . . The others began to jeer.
"Liar!" they chorused
"I only steal because this wicked world won't let me work an honest trade!" Calo cried, hoisting his own glass.
"LIAR!"
"I only steal," said Jean, "because I've temporarily fallen in with bad company."
"LIAR!"
At last the ritual came to Bug; the boy raised his glass a bit shakily and yelled, "I only steal because it's heaps of fucking fun!"
"BASTARD!

Scott Lynch

Tag: 1 gentleman-bastard

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When you can't cheat the game, you'd best find a means to cheat the players.

Scott Lynch

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Nice bird, asshole!

Scott Lynch

Tag: locke bondmage

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Throwing blondes at Locke Lamora was not unlike throwing lettuce at sharks.

Scott Lynch

Tag: humour fantasy gentleman-bastard locke-lamora

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I didn't promise you shit. My dead friends, on the other hand--I made them certain promises I intend to keep.

Scott Lynch

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Gods, I love this place," Locke said, drumming his fingers against his thighs. "Sometimes I think this whole city was put here simply because the gods must adore crime. Pickpockets rob the common folk, merchants rob anyone they can dupe, Capa Barsavi robs the robbers and the common folk, the lesser nobles rob nearly everyone, and Duke Nicovante occasionally runs off with his army and robs the shit out of Tal Verarr or Jerem, not to mention what he does to his own nobles and his common folk.

Scott Lynch

Tag: fiction locke-lamora

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Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind

Scott Lynch

Tag: humor

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I can't wait to have words with the Gray King when this shit is all finished," Locke whispered. "There's a few things I want to ask him. Philosophical questions. Like, 'How does it feel to be dangled out a window by a rope tied around your balls, motherfucker?

Scott Lynch

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I thought we were celebrating being richer and cleverer than everyone else!

Scott Lynch

Tag: rich confidence clever celebrate

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To us — richer and cleverer than everyone else!

Scott Lynch

Tag: rich self-confidence clever

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