Gains
There is no man in the house that I have to try to make happy. There are no more arguments, or nights when I turn away from N in quiet dispair as he snores with an entitled regularity. Everything also stays cleaner; the toilet seat is perpetually down. I have the remote control to the television; no one can take that away. I can watch the Lifetime channel without derision.
What can you guarentee, O Nostradamus of Hayward?" I carp.
Suzanne FinnamoreThere is that, and there is also the Irreconcilable Differences line. It seems so catchall, so vague. You could say that about anyone, any man and woman at all. Jesus and Mary Magdalene: "Irreconcilable Differences." JFK and Jackie, anyone at all. It´s built into the man-woman thing. What kind of paltry reason is that? "Insanity" is another box to be checked on the divorce petition, the only alternative to "Irreconcilable Differences." I would like to check it.
Suzanne FinnamoreTag: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
N complained of his unhappiness whereas I bore mine like a Brownie badge. I like to think I acted out less than he did, but I am probably wrong. I can´t see anymore.
Suzanne FinnamoreI´ve blown it, the whole grisly charade.
Suzanne FinnamoreTag: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
I love you as the mother of my child": the kiss of death.
Mother of His Child: demotion. I am beginning to see this truism: Mothers are not always wives. I have been stripped of a piece of self.
Tag: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
Take me now, God!" I shout to the inky sky. "I´m ready."
"You´re not ready. You´re not even divorced yet," Bunny says. "You cannot die married to that man.
Tag: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
So many events and moments that seemed insignificant add up. I remember how for the last Valentine´s Day, N gave flowers but no card. In restaurants, he looked off into the middle distance while my hand would creep across the table to hold his. He would always let go first. I realize I can´t remember his last spontaneous gesture of affection.
Suzanne FinnamoreTag: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
I remember one desolate Sunday night, wondering: Is this how I´m going to spend the rest of my life? Marrid to someone who is perpetually distracted and somewhat wistful, as though a marvelous party is going on in the next room, which but for me he could be attending?
Suzanne FinnamoreTag: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
He announces that lately he keeps losing things. "Like your wife and child," I want to say, but don´t. At fourty, I´ve learned not to say everything clever, not to score every point.
Suzanne FinnamoreTag: deception marriage relationships infidelity divorce breaking-up cheating
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