Oh my God, I sent a picture of my boobs to Jim," I moaned as a fresh wave of nausea rolled through me.
"You also threw up in the emergency room parking lot, called Drew and told him you were the Donkey Punch Dick Queen and filled out a Last Will and Testament on a Burger King napkin and then asked the drive-thru worker to notarize it.
Tag: hilarity
It was all fun and games until someone else's dick was in your girlfriend's TMJ mouth
Tara SivecTag: hilarious
Wow, I'm surprised you remembered. When you left the bar you were crying and singing at the top of your lungs ' I got ninety-nine problems and the bitch is all of them.
Tara SivecHe's been hung up on a one-night-stand he had five years ago with a girl that smelled like Cocoa Puffs.
Tara SivecWow, she doesn't have any bones. Like, at all. Where the f*ck are her bones? Am I still drunk? Did I sleep with a blow-up doll? Again? I pealed my eyes open one at a time so the rays of sun shining in the room wouldn't make me go blind. Once my eyes adjusted to the light, I looked down and groaned. Nope, not drunk, just hugging a pillow.
Tara SivecTag: humor seduction-and-snacks tara-sivec
No one likes an ugly crier. It's uncomfortable for all parties involved.
Tara SivecI was going to have to tell people I got fired from selling dildos. I can't even sell fake cocks to a room full or horny women. How do you come back from that shit?
Tara SivecGetting a group of rowdy, blue-collar workers together in one room and putting in a tape that shows a guy in a leisure suit putting his hand on his secretary's ass and you've got complete and total anarchy, ladies and gentleman.
Tara SivecAll the baby books written by women who had the most perfect birth experience in the world said you should talk to your child in the womb. That was about the only piece of advice I took from those things. Every day I told him if he ruined my vagina I would video tape his birth and show all his future girlfriends what happened to your who-ha when you had sex, ensuring that he will never, ever get laid.
Tara SivecWater? At a wedding? I don’t understand,” he asks in confusion. “Did you invite Jesus? That’s the only way that will be acceptable.
Tara Sivec« prima precedente
Pagina 3 di 15.
prossimo ultimo »
Data privacy
Imprint
Contact
Diese Website verwendet Cookies, um Ihnen die bestmögliche Funktionalität bieten zu können.