Unseen University was much bigger on the inside. Thousands of years as the leading establishment of practical magic in a world where dimensions were largely a matter of chance in any case had left it bulging in places where it shouldn't have places. There were rooms containing rooms which, if you entered them, turned out to contain the room you'd started with, which can be a problem if you are in a conga line.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: magic university wizard



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Sister Mary was a nurse and nurses, whatever their creed, are primarily nurses, which had a lot to do with wearing your watch upside down, keeping calm in emergencies, and dying for a cup of tea.

Terry Pratchett


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— Прави-тел-ствени пари — послушно повтори момчето.
— Правилно! А какво правят правителствата с парите?
— Ъ-ъ, те…
— Те плащат на войници — натърти Морис. — Водят войни. Всъщност вероятно сме предотвратили много войни, като взимаме парите и ги влагаме там, където не могат да навредят. Ако се замислят над това, ще ни издигнат паметници.
— Някои от онези градове изглеждаха много бедни, Морис — колебливо изтъкна момчето.
— Ами значи тъкмо от оня тип, дето не им трябват войни.

Terry Pratchett


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Всички знаеха за напастта от плъхове. Имаше прочути приказки за ловците на плъхове, които си изкарват хляба, като обикалят от град на град и ги отървават от плъховете. Разбира се, плъховете не бяха единствената напаст — понякога имаше напаст от акордеонисти, от тухли, овързани с канап, от риба — но плъховете бяха всеизвестни.

Terry Pratchett


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— Слушай какво ще ти кажа. Ако не превърнеш живота си в приказка, просто ставаш част от нечия друга приказка.
— А ако приказката ти не става?
— Сменяш я, докато не намериш такава, дето ще става.

Terry Pratchett


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It wasn't by eliminating the impossible that you got at the truth, however improbable; it was by the much harder process of eliminating the possibilities. You worked away, patiently asking questions and looking hard at things. You walked and talked, and in your heart you just hoped like hell that some bugger's nerve'd crack and he'd give himself up.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: discworld pratchett terry-pratchett vimes sam-vimes feet-of-clay



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I? KILL? said Death, obviously offended. CERTAINLY NOT. PEOPLE GET KILLED, BUT THAT'S THEIR BUSINESS. I JUST TAKE OVER FROM THEN ON. AFTER ALL, IT'D BE A BLOODY STUPID WORLD IF PEOPLE GOT KILLED WITHOUT DYING, WOULDN'T IT?

Terry Pratchett

Tag: death humour



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IT WASN’T A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT. It should have been, but that’s the weather for you. For every mad scientist who’s had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who’ve sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime.

Terry Pratchett


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The thing about secrets is that they are usually best kept by just one person. That was the special thing about secrets. Some people seemed to think that the best way to keep a secret was to tell as many people as possible; what could possibly go wrong for a secret when there were so many people defending it?

Terry Pratchett


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There was no light at the end of the tunnel--or if there was, it was an oncoming train.

Terry Pratchett


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