Не щем никакви езически обичаи, покорно благодаря — засъска Леля Ог зад пастора. — Няма да пръскаш вода, олио или пясък, няма да режещ кичури, а ако чуя дори едничка думичка, дето я разбирам, да знаеш, че стоя зад тебе и държа пръчка с остър край.
Terry Pratchett— Лельо, никой не организира тълпа — прояви наивността си Агнес. — Тя се събира от само себе си.
Очите на Леля блеснаха.
— В нашия край живеят седемдесет и девет юнаци с фамилията Ог. Няма начин да не се съберат от само себе си.
Спря поглед за миг на същинската галерия от портрети, после свали единия си ботуш и заудря по стената. След секунди трясна врата и някой мина край прозореца.
Джейсън Ог, ковач и старши по ранг сред мъжете в рода Ог, надникна в кухнята.
— Какво, мамо?
— Една тълпа ще се събере от само себе си и ще нападне замъка след… да речем, след половин час — осведоми го Леля. — Кажи на хората.
— Добре, мамо.
— И предай на всички, че не ги задължавам, разбира се — добави Леля.
Джейсън се вторачи за миг в йерархията на портретите. Нямаше нужда майка му да обяснява повече. Понякога и сандъчето с пясък на котарака имаше нужда от някоя и друга хартийка.
— Добре, мамо. Ще им предам, че си казала да не идват, ако не искат.
— Умно момче.
— Факли ли да носим или… сещаш се, коси, вили и тояги?
Mrs. Earwig said the village women know what to do,” said Annagramma hopefully. “She says to trust in their peasant wisdom.”
“Well, Mrs. Obble was the old woman who called, and she has just got simple peasant ignorance,” said Tiffany. “She puts leaf mold on wounds if you don’t watch her. Look, just because a woman’s got no teeth doesn’t mean she’s wise. It might just mean she’s been stupid for a very long time.
Tag: humor
There were times when you could feel that the world would be a better place if Annagramma got the occasional slap around the ear. The silly unthinking insults, her huge lack of interest in anyone other than herself, the way she treated everyone as if they were slightly deaf and a bit stupid…it could make your blood boil. But you put up with it because every once in a while you saw through it all. Inside there was this worried, frantic little face watching the world like a bunny watching a fox, and screaming at it in the hope that it would go away and not hurt her.
Terry PratchettI THINK NOT. I WASN'T CUT OUT TO BE A FATHER, AND CERTAINLY NOT A GRANDAD. I HAVEN'T GOT THE RIGHT KIND OF KNEES.
Terry PratchettTag: humour
Behind him the Master of Ceremonies cleared his throat. His eyes took on a distant, glazed look.
"The Stealer of Souls," he said in the faraway voice of one whose ears aren't hearing what his mouth is saying, “Defeater of Empires, Swallower of Oceans, Thief of Years, The Ultimate Reality, Harvester of Mankind, the—"
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I CAN SEE MYSELF IN.
Tag: humour
We thought the fireworks were marvelous,” said Mort. “And I expect they'll soon be able to rebuild the outer wall.
Terry PratchettTag: humor
An hour ago Cutwell had thumbed through the index of The Monster Fun Grimoire and had cautiously assembled a number of common household ingredients and put a match to them.
Funny thing about eyebrows, he mused. You never really noticed them until they'd gone.
It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.
Terry PratchettAnd so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow and heavy with the silt of the plains, and by the time it got to The Shades even an agnostic could have walked across it. It was hard to drown in the Ankh, but easy to suffocate.
Terry PratchettTag: religion humour pollution
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