I would not like it thought that I do not buy my own paperclips, sir. I enjoy owning my own paperclips. It means they are mine.
Terry PratchettJuliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.
Terry PratchettTag: humor cleanliness
Few religions are definite about the size of Heaven, but on the planet Earth the Book of Revelation (ch. XXI, v.16) gives it as a cube 12,000 furlongs on a side. This is somewhat less than 500,000,000,000,000,000,000 cubic feet. Even allowing that the Heavenly Host and other essential services take up at least two thirds of this space, this leaves about one million cubic feet of space for each human occupant- assuming that every creature that could be called ‘human’ is allowed in, and the the human race eventually totals a thousand times the numbers of humans alive up until now. This is such a generous amount of space that it suggests that room has also been provided for some alien races or - a happy thought - that pets are allowed.
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It would take a lot to faze a copper from the Met.
It would take, for example, a huge, battered car that was nothing more nor less than a fireball, a blazing, roaring, twisted metal lemon from Hell, driven by a grinning lunatic in sunglasses, sitting amid the flames, trailing thick black smoke, coming straight at them through the lashing rain and the wind at eighty miles per hour.
That would do it every time.
I commend my soul to any god that can find it.
Terry PratchettTag: humor moist-von-lipwig
...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.
Terry PratchettEverywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.
Terry PratchettThis, milord, is my family's axe. We have owned it for almost nine hundred years, see. Of course, sometimes it needed a new blade. And sometimes it has required a new handle, new designs on the metalwork, a little refreshing of the ornamentation . . . but is this not the nine hundred-year-old axe of my family? And because it has changed gently over time, it is still a pretty good axe, y'know. Pretty good.
Terry PratchettThe problem with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and putting things in it.
Terry PratchettThe thing about football - the important thing about football - is that it is not just about football.
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