If you see people of a particular race or culture as objects, your view of them is racist, whatever your color or lack of color or you power or lack of power.
The Arbinger Institute...when I betray myself, others' faults become immediately inflated in my heart and mind. I begin to 'horribilize' others. That is, I begin to make them out to be worse than they really are. And I do this because the worse they are, the more justified I feel.
The Arbinger InstituteThere is a question I have learned to ask myself when I am feeling bothered about others: am I holding myself to the same standard I am demanding of them?
The Arbinger InstituteMost wars between individuals are of the 'cold' rather than the 'hot' variety---lingering resentment, for example, grudges long held, resources clutched rather than shared, help not offered. These are the acts of war that most threaten our homes and workplaces.
The Arbinger InstituteThe more sure I am that I'm right, the more likely I will actually be mistaken. My need to be right makes it more likely that I will be wrong! Likewise, the more sure I am that I am mistreated, the more likely I am to miss ways that I am mistreating others myself. My need for justification obscures the truth.
The Arbinger InstituteAs painful as it is to receive contempt from another, it is more debilitating by far to be filled with contempt for another.
The Arbinger Institute...whenever i dehumanize another, I necessarily dehumanize all that is human---including myself.
The Arbinger InstituteBut like many who are lonely, I was more preoccupied with others than were those who lived to socialize...Everyone I hated was always with me, even when I was alone. They had to be, for I had to remember what and why I hated in order to remind myself to stay away from them.
The Arbinger InstituteA solution to the inner war solves the outer war as well.
The Arbinger InstituteHave you ever been in a conflict with someone who thought he was wrong. If you are not wrong, then you will be willing to consider how you might be mistaken.
The Arbinger InstituteTag: thought-provoking
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